He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
