And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
