Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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