We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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