every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
