I wish I could punch you in the face.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
