we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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