its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
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