I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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