he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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