I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
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he seriously made his penis a facebook.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
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With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT