just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.