It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.