I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
