The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
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and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
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Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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