His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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