Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
