Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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