a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
