Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
