making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
