i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
