i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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