Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.

(1-256): View more from Alabama

That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.

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(949): View more from California

I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.

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(239): View more from Florida

I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.

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