How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize