I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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