at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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