dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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