I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
