I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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