But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
