If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize