Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
