Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize