I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
