He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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