i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
