So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
