Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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