her vagine was all disorganized.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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