dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
