if only i could text you this smell
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
did you just send me my own nude
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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