Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
