Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
