can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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