she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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