why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
