When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
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We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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