he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I will pee on everything he values.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
