I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
