i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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