i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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