I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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