Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
