sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
