i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
