Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
