But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
