ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize