He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
