Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
