Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
