Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
